Let Loose The Thoughts

journal from a humble soul

All About Bra April 14, 2015

Filed under: Women — lapuce @ 8:49 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Have you ever have problems when comes to buying bras? I do, and most of the times the bras that I saw may look very sexy but it will not fit on me when I tried it on.  Buying bras nowadays is not so easy as buying it during teenage days.  I only point out to the sales girl which one I want and take it to the counter to pay.  Today I must try each bra to ensure the cups are perfect to hold my two lovely breast, so that my breasts won’t look saggy, so that the breasts won’t come off to the sides, not to forget, the back band is not too big or the straps are not too big either, etc, etc, etc.

When I came across this article, I thought, hey… why not share it with my readers too.  I’m sure some of us have the same problem too.  Check out this link for further information on bras.

http://diply.com/auntyacid/bra-hacks-boobs/113807/1

**********************

Never wear the wrong bra again.

Bra Hacks 8

Know your bra’s sister sizes when shopping at different stores.

Bra Hacks 12

All bras are not equal-know the difference.

Bra Hacks 14

Know how to care for your bra.

13 Bra Hacks to Keep Your Girls Happy 24

Advertisements
 

Damn, I’m Hot: Instructions on Seduction February 11, 2011

Filed under: Women — lapuce @ 12:43 pm
Tags: , , , ,

By Martha Beck:
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the September 2007 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

*********

Peacock Illustration

We’d been waiting 30 minutes for someone to take our order in a busy Mexican restaurant when my friend Cathy decided to take extreme measures. “Watch this,” she whispered. Then she tugged the clip from her hair, opened a collar button, and tossed her head like a frolicking foal. Almost magically, she went from being simply beautiful to what is referred to in the vernacular as “like, totally hot.” Three waiters rushed our table like linebackers. Cathy fluttered her lashes at one, cooing, “Hon, could we order now?” It was a virtuoso performance of attraction in action.

For me, this was like watching documentary footage about something (“Mating Behavior Among Bipedal Primates of the American Southwest”) that I’ve never personally experienced. It’s not that I totally lack skills like Cathy’s. She can toss her head and attract men; I can—to cite just one example—toss fried chicken and attract cats. But I could never use feminine wiles the way Cathy can. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a single wile. I used to enjoy pitying myself for this, until one day I realized that everyone for whom I’ve felt genuine sexual interest eventually expressed reciprocal interest in me. While shortchanging me compared with Cathy, Mother Nature still provided me with the instinctive ability to make the connections I really wanted. Now, if you have Gisele Bündchen problems (your Manolo Blahniks keep skidding in puddles of drool left by lustful admirers), please turn directly to an underwear ad and enjoy the company of other genetically blessed people like you. This column contains instructions on seduction for the rest of us.

Flirtation 101: What to do if it doesn’t come naturally

Scientists tell us that females of all cultures make sexual connections through sequences of specific flirting behaviors. The ethologist Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt captured this on film some 30 years ago, with a camera that appeared to point in one direction while actually shooting in another. He found that women of all languages, classes, and religious backgrounds attracted men through the same gestures. This was further documented by psychologists who spent months scientifically lurking around in lounges, watching couples hook up. As Psychology Today‘s contributor Joann Ellison Rodgers described the flirtation ritual: “Women smiled, gazed, swayed, giggled, licked their lips and aided and abetted by the wearing of high heels; they swayed their backs, forcing their buttocks to tilt out and up and their chests to thrust forward.”

In researching this article, I recently tried enacting these behaviors in a local Starbucks. Sure enough, I attracted immediate male attention: An elderly gentleman asked me if I needed medical help. The answer was yes. I think I ruptured something. The bottom line (pardon the pun) is that buttock tilting and back swaying come about as naturally to me as spaceflight. Though flirting is supposedly wired into our brains, my brain appears to have shorted out in regard to giggling and licking my lips. And yet even I have stumbled upon a set of seductive behaviors that work surprisingly well for me. If you share my chronic back spasms and total lack of sexual self-confidence, you too might find them useful.

Step 1: Identify a specific person with whom you really, truly want to have sex

After our waiter spilled all over himself serving Cathy her enchiladas, I asked her what it felt like to exercise such awesome sexual control.

“It’s not that great,” she said with a sigh. “In fact, it can get lonely. You have to learn to get past casual sex and create lasting relationships, and that isn’t easy.”

I stared at her. She might as well have asked me how you get past calculus to create a mud pie. I associate the word casual with khaki pants, not carnal pants. Why? Because for some reason, I just can’t help indulging in forethought before getting to foreplay.

This isn’t true for most people: Sexual signals usually zip right past the rational brain, because as Rodgers puts it, if two people “immediately considered all the possible risks and vulnerabilities they might face if they mated or had children, they’d run screaming from the room.” Now, that I can understand. To actually have sex, I must be not only in love but also in full legal possession of the other party’s medical records. The advantage of this approach is that what you miss in casual thrills, you gain in long-term compatibility. That initial spark of interest leads not to the nearest motel room but to the prolonged scrutiny you would give an unrecognizable substance before deciding to include it in a cake.

If you consistently wake up next to people you no longer respect, try doing deliberately what I do involuntarily: Hold in your mind a vivid picture of a genital wart. (The Internet provides plenty, and I am here to tell you, they’re the opposite of pornographic.) Superimpose this image over the dashing smile of that cute guy at the bar. This should give you pause—a pause you can use to investigate whether the dashing smile is backed up by kindness, humor, honesty, and other qualities you probably want in a mate.

If you do this, you’re on the verge of discovering something amazing: Simple, sustained attention can be more powerfully seductive than all the eyelash-fluttering, tongue-flicking, back-swaying displays that make men want to fondle the likes of Cathy and prescribe seizure medication for the likes of me.

Step 2: Lust for the other person’s subjective experience

Here is the secret of sexual success for the confidence impaired: While people will decide to have casual sex with you based on how you look, they’ll decide to have meaningful sex with you based on how you see. The reason I’ve managed to make the connections I desired is that I’m fascinated by people’s stories. Beneath the small-talk surface, every life is a fascinating novel, so I always follow the suggestion from Proverbs 4:7, “With all thy getting get understanding.” This directive means to stand under, in the relatively lowly position of student, and let whomever we’re trying to occupy the high ground of teacher. And—this is key—the body language we use to do this overlaps significantly with the biology of flirting.

Anthropologist David Givens, the author of the book Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, says that a crucial sexual-attraction message is “I am harmless.” We communicate this with “submissive displays,” such as turning our hands palm up, tilting our heads, exposing our vulnerable necks. A tilted-head half-shrug is typical of sexually attracted people having their first conversation. It’s also a posture you’ll unconsciously assume when you’re trying to understand another person’s experience. I suspect this is a major reason so many clients fall in love with their therapists: The counselor who tilts her head while gazing quizzically at a patient, trying to see into his soul, may unwittingly be signaling that she’d also like to see into his pants.

Throughout my adolescence, I had terrifying encounters with innocent, well-meaning boys who interpreted my intense curiosity as sexual interest. A handful told me in so many words that, despite my obvious flaws, they had decided to accept me as a mate. In this way, I learned that detached, genuine interest in another person’s inner experience is, if anything, more seductive than the hair flips I will never master. This realization was almost worth the time I spent hiding behind trees and under staircases to avoid those poor misguided fellows.

Step 3: Get a Life

Speaking of watching people, reality television provides an interesting barometer to indicate which behaviors humans find most fascinating. Some programs, like The Bachelor, have no real point except to show gorgeous individuals attracting or rejecting one another. Personally, I find them marginally less interesting than having my teeth cleaned. I favor reality shows in which people do things that require skill, talent, or daring: crab fishing, singing, clothing design, Latin dance. The popularity of these shows suggests I’m not the only person tuning in. Generally, the harder the participants have to work, the more interesting the process.

Even when cameras aren’t rolling, people love to watch others work hard, learn skills, and take risks. Remember the old Peanuts cartoons in which Lucy mooned endlessly over Schroeder, whose only interest was the piano? That stereotype is based in truth: People who are mastering something that fascinates them become fascinating to others. If you want to capture people’s attention, put your own attention on something that has nothing to do with them: oil painting, cooking, wildlife rescue. The more you get lost in what you’re doing, the more interesting you’ll become.

Best Practices: The one-two-three punch combination

If you use the three steps above in quick succession, you’ll become an attention magnet. It’s like a trick move in martial arts: Target your person of interest, focus entirely on them, then abruptly divert your attention. Pow, pow, pow!

These steps allow any flirtatiously challenged person to bypass the whole complicated, alarming world of sexual tension and attraction among normal people. You can do the dance of seduction without even meaning to—simply by letting yourself be openly drawn to people, their stories, and your own deepest fascinations.

 

Why do men cheat? Part 2 August 22, 2010

Filed under: Women — lapuce @ 1:29 pm
Tags: , , , ,

so if cheating causes so much heartbreak, why do so many men do it anyway? here are some reasons for women to ponder and if these could not convince the women why do so many men cheat, then better leave him rather than feeling sorry to oneself..…what i meant by cheating is “Cheating is defined as anything that breaches a relationship contract. That includes “sexy communication and flirting that’s kept secret from your partner.”

1. men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating(BasicBooks). “ they’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says.  women need a reason to have an affair but men just want to have sex. they can have a good healthy relationship with their partner but at the same time it’s a thrill and a challenge for them to cheat.

2. men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate.  mostly men are either angry or afraid to connect and fail to deal with these feelings.  it’s easier for men to go outside the relationship than work it out with their partner. they’re unhappy with their mates – and extramarital sex is cheaper and easier to get these days

3. men could not resist the temptation of a riper fruits. many women might be a complete slob after they have a partner, if she got lazy or gained weight or just doesn’t take care of herself, a guy will start looking at other women.

4. nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife. some men said their wife is like a mosquito, whenever they want to have sex with their wife, the wife will swat the husband away.

5. men want more sex than women.  so when their partner is tired from wrangling kids all day and unwilling to try new things, even the most loyal hubbies get bored and go looking for nookie.  more sexually permissive men who don’t have equally adventurous partners are also more able to wander.

6. it’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at their fingertips.  thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives….

7. its just their nature that they just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. it’s a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer – only this time, they’re hunting and gathering new women.

conclusion: any guilt that a man has after sex isn’t about the sex itself, it’s about the consequences, “will she be a stalker? will my wife or my girlfriend find out?  “if a guy is in a committed, monogamous relationship, he should ask himself one question before he cheats:  is it worth it? he should consider the worst-case scenario, meaning that his wife or girlfriend finds out and is now brokenhearted. Is it worth it?” only you, men know the answer.

 

Why do men cheat? by Peadar De Burca

Filed under: Women — lapuce @ 12:31 pm
Tags: , , , ,

i read an interesting article from StarTwo written by Olga Craig about “Why do men cheat”.  such an interesting issue among all women.  Craig took an article from The Telegraph UK written by Peadar De Burca, who is a theater director, a playwright and a comedian before he found success as a comedy writer, comes from a long line of philanderers and has a healthy respect for monogamy but he became fascinated by the subject when it ripped apart marriages within his own family circle.  De Burca has an abundance wealth of research of five years and these are what i am going to share with you out there.

Peadar De Burca says his research has taught him the value of fidelity

question of why do men cheat has been on every other women’s mind since dark ages, i believe that no matter how we try to investigate and do our research we still could not find a single concrete answer why do men cheat especially when they have a loyal partner next to them and when the gold band ring is in place. so why exactly do men cheat?

according to De Burca, ”It’s simple,’’  ”It’s because they can. Or, rather, because you ladies let them think that they can. So they do.’’ ”Sadly, my conclusion has been that, all too often women simply won’t challenge their cheating men,’’ he says with a shake of the head. ”Or their self-esteem has been so battered by their husband’s behaviour that these talented, attractive and intelligent women convince themselves that they have too much to lose if they walk away or show him the door.’’ ”Witnessing the pain some of my female relatives suffered was heartbreaking. The effect was that, from early on, I swore I was never going to become one of those men.” So he set out to investigate the subject, amassing a wealth of hilarious though thought-provoking stories from men who cheat.

He says ”Never underestimate the male ego. Men just love to boast of their conquests. Call out the word “cheat” on any street and a dozen guilty men will look furtively over their shoulder. Yet of the women I spoke to, all but three forgave their husbands and took them back. Which was, of course, a green light to the men. My advice to women? Show your confidence. Let him know he’s lucky to have you. And that if he abuses your trust, he’s out.’’

What Men Want

De Burca’s interviewees cross the social divide and encompass all age groups.

– Beware, doctors, by the way. They are by far the most likely to cheat, he says. A legacy, he believes, of the fact that they are surrounded by females at work and that women are susceptible to their role as healers.

– A cheating lawyer who proudly boasted that, on being found out, he made his wife feel so bad – because he claimed he cheated because he had no choice – that she ended up apologising. ”He told her that he had found solace elsewhere because she had become cold, sex was no longer as regular as it once was, and he had found affection elsewhere. He came back to me saying she now felt so guilty that she kept apologising to him. You can’t believe how arrogant he was about it. And, of course, it was carte blanche to continue.’’

– A business executive with a big bank balance but few social graces and little in the way of good looks said he had juggled eight mistresses and made weekly visits to swingers’ parties. ”I found it hard to get under his skin,’’ De Burca admits. ”I couldn’t pin him down as to why he needed to do all this cheating. Eventually, he lost his rag and he blurted out: ‘Look I cheat. I have to. Otherwise, I’m dead’.

Says the playwright, lies the answer. ”This man had little in the way of self-esteem. His coterie of young women was his way of reassuring himself that he had lost none of his potency. Not in the sexual sense but in the power sense. Having these women on his arm helped him convince himself he was someone to be reckoned with. By the same token, had his long-suffering wife cheated he would have been devastated. That would have totally shattered his fragile ego.’’

the sad thing about women when the do found out about their men’s cheating behavior they became weak and feel all alone and feel so unloved.  De Burca said, ”So many strong, beautiful women told me they would end up alone and lonely if they threw out their cheating husbands.”

but hats off to women, when asked what about women who cheat? his answer, ”The difference between the sexes where infidelity is concerned is that women are just a whole lot better at it. When women cheat, they do it in style. And they don’t get caught.’’  fair enough.