Let Loose The Thoughts

journal from a humble soul

How To Respond To Negative People Without Being Negative (video) December 26, 2014

Filed under: Advises — lapuce @ 10:35 am
Tags:

Have you ever had difficulty with someone that whatever you say whether about politic, environment or about your life, that this someone will always comment with negative responds? How do you actually handle this type of person?  Do you stay clam and explain your position or do you lash back at them and try to win back your position that you are right?

My weakness is that I’ve been having difficulty in handling negative respond.  I don’t lash back at them, I don’t call them out for being negative and I don’t go into argumentative space with them. The most that I do was I’ll keep quiet and try very hard not talking to the person for a few days.  I’m always afraid if I respond to their negative comments, something “a not a very nice words” will come out of it and I’ll regret it for my whole life.

After watching this video I hope I can practice to respond to any negative comments.

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40 Incorrectly Used Words That Can Make You Look Dumb December 7, 2014

Filed under: Advises — lapuce @ 5:11 pm
Tags: , ,

I was browsing through the Linkedin and came across an article that’s worth for us to stop and read and learn and check if we make mistakes when using some of these words.  I must say, I do sometimes use the wrong words.

This was written by Jeff Haden.  Check out his profile from this : link https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/20141203134446-20017018-40-incorrectly-used-words-that-can-make-you-look-dumb

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do.

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40 Incorrectly Used Words That Can Make You Look Dumb

While I like to think I know a little about business writing, I still fall into a few word traps. (Not to mention a few cliché traps.)

Take the words “who” and “whom.” I rarely use “whom” when I should — even when spell check suggests “whom” I think it sounds pretentious. So I use “who.”

And then I sound dumb.

Just like one misspelled word can get your resume tossed onto the “nope” pile, one incorrectly used word can negatively impact your entire message. Fairly or unfairly, it happens — so let’s make sure it doesn’t happen to you.

Adverse and averse

Adverse means harmful or unfavorable: “Adverse market conditions caused the IPO to be poorly subscribed.” Averse refers to feelings of dislike or opposition: “I was averse to paying $18 a share for a company that generates no revenue.”

But hey, feel free to have an aversion to adverse conditions.

Affect and effect

Verbs first. Affect means to influence: “Impatient investors affected our roll-out date.”Effect means to accomplish something: “The board effected a sweeping policy change.”

How you use effect or affect can be tricky. For example, a board can affect changes by influencing them and can effect changes by directly implementing them. Bottom line, use effect if you’re making it happen, and affect if you’re having an impact on something that someone else is trying to make happen.

As for nouns, effect is almost always correct: “Once he was fired he was given 20 minutes to gather his personal effects.” Affect refers to an emotional state, so unless you’re a psychologist you probably have little reason to use it.

Bring and take

Both have to do with objects you move or carry. The difference is in the point of reference: you bring things here and you take them there. You ask people to bringsomething to you, and you ask people to take something to someone or somewhere else.

“Can you bring an appetizer to John’s party”? Nope.

Compliment and complement

Compliment means to say something nice. Complement means to add to, enhance, improve, complete, or bring close to perfection.

I can compliment your staff and their service, but if you have no current openings you have a full complement of staff. Or your new app may complement your website.

For which I may decide to compliment you.

Criteria and criterion

“We made the decision based on one overriding criteria,” sounds fairly impressive but is also wrong.

Remember: one criterion, two or more criteria. Or just use “reason” or “factors” and you won’t have to worry about getting it wrong.

Discreet and discrete

Discreet means careful, cautious, showing good judgment: “We made discreet inquiries to determine whether the founder was interested in selling her company.”

Discrete means individual, separate, or distinct: “We analyzed data from a number of discrete market segments to determine overall pricing levels.” And if you get confused, remember you don’t use “discretion” to work through sensitive issues; you exercise discretion.

Elicit and illicit

Elicit means to draw out or coax. Think of elicit as the mildest form of extract. If one lucky survey respondent will win a trip to the Bahamas, the prize is designed to elicit responses.

Illicit means illegal or unlawful, and while I suppose you could elicit a response at gunpoint … you probably shouldn’t.

Farther and further

Farther involves a physical distance: “Florida is farther from New York than Tennessee.” Further involves a figurative distance: “We can take our business plan no further.”

So, as we say in the South (and that “we” has included me), “I don’t trust you any farther than I can throw you,” or, “I ain’t gonna trust you no further.”

Fewer and less

Use fewer when referring to items you can count, like “fewer hours” or “fewer dollars.”

Use “less” when referring to items you can’t (or haven’t tried to) count, like “less time” or “less money.”

Imply and infer

The speaker or writer implies, which means to suggest. The listener or reader infers,which means to deduce, whether correctly or not.

So I might imply you’re going to receive a raise. And you might infer that a pay increase is imminent. (But not eminent, unless the raise will somehow be prominent and distinguished.)

Insure and ensure

This one’s easy. Insure refers to insurance. Ensure means to make sure.

So if you promise an order will ship on time, ensure that it actually happens. Unless, of course, you plan to arrange for compensation if the package is damaged or lost — then feel free to insure away.

(While there are exceptions where insure is used, the safe move is to use ensurewhen you will do everything possible to make sure something happens.)

Irregardless and regardless

Irregardless appears in some dictionaries because it’s widely used to mean “without regard to” or “without respect to”… which is also what regardless means.

In theory the ir-, which typically means “not,” joined up with regardless, which means “without regard to,” makes irregardless mean “not without regard to,” or more simply, “with regard to.”

Which probably makes it a word that does not mean what you think it means.

So save yourself a syllable and just say regardless.

Number and amount

I goof these up all the time. Use number when you can count what you refer to: “Thenumber of subscribers who opted out increased last month.” Amount refers to a quantity of something that can’t be counted: “The amount of alcohol consumed at our last company picnic was staggering.”

Of course it can still be confusing: “I can’t believe the number of beers I drank,” is correct, but so is, “I can’t believe the amount of beer I drank.” The difference is you can count beers, but beer, especially if you were way too drunk to keep track, is an uncountable total and makes amount the correct usage.

Precede and proceed

Precede means to come before. Proceed means to begin or continue. Where it gets confusing is when an –ing comes into play. “The proceeding announcement was brought to you by…” sounds fine, but preceding is correct since the announcement came before.

If it helps, think precedence: anything that takes precedence is more important and therefore comes first.

Principal and principle

A principle is a fundamental: “Our culture is based on a set of shared principles.”Principal means primary or of first importance: “Our startup’s principal is located in NYC.” (Sometimes you’ll also see the plural, principals, used to refer to executives or relatively co-equals at the top of a particular food chain.)

Principal can also refer to the most important item in a particular set: “Our principal account makes up 60% of our gross revenues.”

Principal can also refer to money, normally a sum that was borrowed, but can be extended to refer to the amount you owe — hence principal and interest.

If you’re referring to laws, rules, guidelines, ethics, etc., use principle. If you’re referring to the CEO or the president (or an individual in charge of a high school), use principal.

Slander and libel

Don’t like what people say about you? Like slander, libel refers to making a false statement that is harmful to a person’s reputation.

The difference lies in how that statement is expressed. Slanderous remarks are spoken while libelous remarks are written and published (which means defamatory tweets could be considered libelous, not slanderous).

Keep in mind what makes a statement libelous or slanderous is its inaccuracy, not its harshness. No matter how nasty a tweet, as long as it’s factually correct it cannot be libelous. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation; you might wish a customer hadn’t said something derogatory about your business… but if what that customer said is true then you have no legal recourse.

And now for those dreaded apostrophes:

It’s and its

It’s is the contraction of it is. That means it’s doesn’t own anything. If your dog is neutered (the way we make a dog, however much against his or her will, gender neutral), you don’t say, “It’s collar is blue.” You say, “Its collar is blue.”

Here’s an easy test to apply. Whenever you use an apostrophe, un-contract the word to see how it sounds. Turn it’s into it is: “It’s sunny,” becomes, “It is sunny.”

Sounds good to me.

They’re and their

Same with these: They’re is the contraction for they are. Again, the apostrophe doesn’t own anything. We’re going to their house, and I sure hope they’re home.

Who’s and whose

Whose password hasn’t been changed in six months?” is correct. Use the non-contracted version of who’s, like, “Who is (the non-contracted version of who’s) password hasn’t been changed in six months?” and you sound a little silly.

You’re and your

One more. You’re is the contraction of you are. Your means you own it; the apostrophe in you’re doesn’t own anything.

For a long time a local nonprofit displayed a huge sign that said, “You’re Community Place.”

Hmm. “You Are Community Place”? No, probably not.

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Signs It’s Time to Quit Your Job August 17, 2014

Filed under: Advises — lapuce @ 4:45 pm
Tags: ,

oooohhh…..i do like reading about the above issues…..coz i’m quitting my job myself.  not because i hate my current job, no.  not because i want a new challenge, no.  because i was hunted by many….i repeat many head-hunters….hahaha.  you may think i’m famous…..not at all.  probably with my experiences, i’ve received many calls asking me if i want to quit my current job and start new with either a competitor or a client.  however, the article that i’m about to share with you does explain why we need to consider changing our job.  i must say all points stated below are indeed correct.

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taken from Robert O’keane from Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140810091011-13902540-signs-it-s-time-to-quit-your-job?trk=tod-posts-post1-psum#

From a young age ‘quitters never win’ is a mantra that is drummed into many of us – which can make life tough sometimes! We’re taught that we shouldn’t give up easily on tasks which could be a good indication as to why so many people are stuck in jobs that they are no 100% happy with.

The truth is that actually there are many signs that we should look out for when it comes to employment. If we ignore these (and so many of us do) then we run the risk of living our life in a “stale” career or being forced to move on, neither of which are situations that many of us want to find ourselves in.

You’re Stuck in a Situation You Can’t Win
If you find your job role has become confusing or that people in senior management situations start to feedback conflicting advice then it could be worth looking at your options. No one wants to be stuck in a situation where they can’t win and if a job makes you feel like this why not look at moving on? Your job role should make you feel exhilarated and challenged – like you are succeeding in something rather than like you are fighting a losing battle and not achieving anything.

 

You Lose Interest
As much as many of us worry that we think about work too much it can be worrying when you start to think about work less. For exampl,e if you start using train journeys to relax rather than as an excuse to catch up on work then maybe you need to move onto something more challenging? It is important that your job pushes you and keeps you interested, once you have lost then why not look into options for something that can keep you more motivated?

Self Doubt
You should feel confident and positive in your job role. Even if you make a mistake you should feel happy and content in the job role after all, everyone makes mistakes now and then! When you get to the stage where you are doubting what you are saying and you are wondering whether people around the table will agree with you – move on! You should feel confident enough in your job role without having to worry about what other people are thinking.


The Sunday Night Dread
There aren’t many people that enjoy Monday mornings, but it should be something that you accept. If you find that your Sunday night is filled with dread and that you feel anxious about going back to work the next day then why not look into a job role that makes you dread Monday mornings a little bit less?


It Isn’t Fun Anymore
Work isn’t a barrel of laughs, after all, you are there because you have a job to do. However, you should laugh at work and enjoy your time there. If you find that your time at work is becoming less and less enjoyable then maybe a change of scenery is what you need.

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If you are interested with Robert O’keane’s article, click on below link and you will find many interesting articles written by him. happy reading everyone!!!

https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/13902540-Robert-O’keane?goback=%2Empd2_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_20140810091011*513902540*5signs*5it*5s*5time*5to*5quit*5your*5job&trk=mp-details-footer-follow

 

 

Speeds Kill July 31, 2014

Filed under: Advises,Safety,Travelling — lapuce @ 8:19 pm

i watched this video 3 times.  it gave me chill to the body.  i know that speeds kill but sometimes i do enjoy driving fast, not that i was in a rush.  lesson learnt from this video is that, just a simple pressing on the accelerator might cause an accident to us and everyone around us.  careful and be considerate while driving.  we don’t want our family to suffer.

Speed ad – Mistakes 

 

 

15 Ways to Keep the Peace and Have Fun at Work July 25, 2014

Filed under: Advises — lapuce @ 11:44 am

here’s something worth to share which i’ve picked up from reader’s digest.com:

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You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your colleagues. Yet you need them in more ways than one. First, you need their goodwill and coöperation to do your own job well. Second, studies find that disagreements with colleagues and bad working relationships deflate morale and impair performance even more than rumours of redundancies. And third, if you’re like most people, you spend more waking hours at work than anywhere else. Reaching out to your colleagues – or extending an olive branch, if need be – can make your work environment a much nicer place to spend many hours a day. You don’t have to be friends with your colleagues, but you do need to be friendly. Read on for fresh ways to make work a happier place to be.

Say a cheery ‘Hello!’ in the morning: 

Do you plod into the office, eyes down, shoulders slumped, and immediately start work? If so, you’re likely to find that colleagues ignore you (the best) or avoid you (the worst). Get into the habit of smiling and greeting everyone as you arrive in the morning or begin your shift. It’s amazing how fast this little courtesy can thaw chilly workplace relations.

Learn the art of small talk:

Ask your colleagues about their interests – their favourite music, films, books, hobbies. Showing a genuine interest in them will make them feel comfortable around you.

Accept good-natured teasing:

Other workers sometimes play jokes and tease to test what kind of person you are. So if they poke fun at your new shoes or mischievously put a funny screen saver on your computer, don’t get angry. Let them know that you enjoy a good joke – even if it’s sometimes on you. Of course, if the teasing is personal (about your weight or ethnicity, for example), and makes if difficult for you to do your job or makes you feel uncomfortable because of its sexual implications, you may need to take up the matter with your supervisor.

Ask what they think:

People love to be asked their opinion, so go out of your way to ask, ‘What do you think is missing from this report?’ or ‘How do you think I should handle this situation with X?’ Then give the advice-giver a sincere thank you, even if the ideas are less than helpful.

Avoid gossip:

You don’t want anyone talking about you behind your back, so return the favour!!! When a colleague sidled up to you bearing a juicy titbit of gossip about an office romance or someone’s impending dismissal, respond with, ‘Really?’, then change the subject or get back to work. If you don’t respond, the gossiper will move on – and you’ll retain the trust and respect of your colleagues.

When dealing with a difficult colleague, pretend your children are watching:

This simple visualisation technique will help you to keep a cool head. After all, you’ve taught your children to have good manner. With them ‘watching’, it will be difficult to stoop to the level of your infuriating colleague.

Ladle out the compliments: 

Did Tom fix the office photocopier – again? Has Ann stopped smoking? By all means, compliment your colleagues on their achievements – personal or professional. Too often, we focus on what people are doing wrong.

Spread your good cheer: 

You don’t have to be a Pollyanna, but try to do one kindly act a week, choosing a different colleague each time. For example, one week you might bring in cakes for no reason. Another week, it might be a card for a colleague – maybe a thank-you note for helping you out the week before, or a light, humorous card for a colleague who seems to be a bit down.

Return calls and emails promptly:

To win friends at work, a good place to start is good office etiquette. There’s nothing more frustrating to busy people than to have their emails and phone messages ignored. Your silence doesn’t just make their job harder to do; it also conveys an unpleasant message to them: you’re unimportant to me.

Give credit where credit is due:

Don’t withhold credit from deserving colleagues. You’ll alienate them, and they won’t be there for you when you need them (or when they all go out for lunch). Embrace the attitude that we all win together, and let others know when someone has done something above and beyond the call of duty on a project. Also, if someone incorrectly gives you credit and praise, acknowledge your colleague who does deserves the accolades. You and your gestures will be remembered.

Here’s one for the boss:

Always work at least as hard as anyone working with or for you. Make it clear that you would never ask anyone to do a level of work you wouldn’t be willing to take on yourself.

Always be on time:

To show you respect other people’s time.

Express your good ideas:

Express it in a way that makes it clear that they are not the only good ideas, and that others may have equally good insights to add.

Talk about your life outside the office when it’s appropriate:

This will remind the people you work with that you’re a person first, not just an employee or employer.

Assume the positive about what you don’t know:

Isn’t it funny how a team of workers often think they’re working harder than another team elsewhere in the building? Or that the bosses are clueless? Don’t subscribe to that kind of toxic thinking, even if it’s rampant. It’s a negative attitude that makes work become miserable. Instead, assume that everyone else is working hard and doing their best, even if you don’t know what their work is. You should believe both in the work you’re doing and the organisation you’re doing it for. If you can’t, perhaps it’s time to move on.

 

10 ways to turn back the ageing clock without surgery June 5, 2011

Filed under: Advises,Health — lapuce @ 10:44 am
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The SKIN Magazine – Features – 10 ways to turn back the ageing clock without surgery.

By Ann Nee Ting

If you are not a fan of the cosmetic surgeon’s scalpel, yet want to look and feel years younger, fret not. We have ten anti-aging tips that will help you to turn back your aging clock without expense and fuss.

Increasingly there’s a trend to focus on anti-aging beauty from within. There is great truth in the statement because if you feel good, you naturally look good. Your appearance is a reflection of your health and vitality. Looking good and feeling young is as much about your lifestyle choices as about the latest Botox fix or anti-wrinkle cream.

Here are my all time best top ten anti aging tips to aging gracefully: 

1. Quit Smoking:

If you smoke you need to stop immediately! You may not be able to completely reverse the damage smoking has done to your skin but you will stop the damage getting worse. The consequences of smoking are not pretty; it not only accelerates skin aging by encouraging the destruction of collagen. Reduced levels of collagen are one of the primary reasons your skin ages so a smoker’s skin ages much faster. The telltale signs of “smoker’s face” are dull, grayish, dry skin, increased wrinkling around the eyes and puckering wrinkles around the mouth. Not exactly a face bursting with youth and vitality, don’t you think?

2. Sun Protection

UV damage is the number one enemy of younger looking skin. While some cynics will say that getting a tan is the latest fashion accessory, know that sun tanning leads to photoaging, a process that produces deep wrinkles in the leathery textured skin and will cause premature age spots. Always use a broad spectrum sunscreen. Have sunscreen always with you so you never get caught out. And if you want a tan – fake it.

3. Supercharge your diet

Fill your plate with fresh vegetables, fruit and whole grains to boost your antioxidant content. For younger looking skin, make sure you get plenty of vitamins C and vitamin E; these two wonder vitamins work synergistically to restore collagen in your skin. If you want firm, supple skin, opt for fatty fish such as salmon, cod, and sardines. They are rich in omega 3 fish oil which is vital to maintain the cellular integrity and heart health.

4. Pop a pill

Boost your antioxidant intake with a daily supplement, especially if you think may not be getting all the essential vitamins and minerals that you need from your diet. Some medications such as those for your cholesterol or diabetes may also lower your absorption of certain vitamins, making supplementation vital for your long term health. Go for one with the highest levels of the key vitamins and minerals for younger looking skin and all round health.

5. Go green

Do what the Japanese have been doing for centuries and indulge in green tea as your staple beverage. Green tea is an amazing and natural anti-aging product. Recent research shows that green tea can protect you from cancer, build your resistance to heart disease and dementia and contribute to your body’s ability to burn fat – especially abdominal fat – resulting in weight loss even where there is no change in your daily diet. To get the maximal benefit from green tea, opt for green tea powder or loose tea leaves rather than pre-packed tea bags.

6. Moisturize + exfoliate

You may have heard this one before but it’s still true that these simple steps done daily can make a world of difference to your skin health. Regular exfoliation keeps skin clear of dead cells and allows maximal absorption of anti-aging skin care you may be using. Simple moisturizing of the skin ensures your skin is supple, hydrated and protected against environmental stresses and further free radical damage. Take time to choose a good anti aging moisturizer. Make sure it has high levels of proven effective ingredients like retinol or peptides that work to reverse the aging process and reduce wrinkles.

7. Run for your life

Exercise will give your more energy, build muscle mass, increase blood flow to your skin, help prevent high blood pressure, reduce anxiety, strengthen bones and raise your metabolic rate so you lose more weight more quickly. Exercise is good for the skin too! By increasing the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to your skin cells, it gives skin an instant pick-me-up. So lace up those jogging shoes now, and give your body what it really needs to go the distance with you.

8. Get your beauty sleep

Getting enough sleep is one of the most important habits for anyone over the age of 40. When you sleep your body releases growth hormone which stimulates cell turnover. Lack of sleep wrecks havoc on your health and beauty (that’s why they call it beauty sleep right?). Dark eye circles, dull, tired skins… the list goes on. So hit the pillow early tonight and give your body and skin an overnight recharge.

9. The fountain of youth

If you are looking for the fountain of youth, look no further. It’s right in front of you in the form of good old water. Hydrate your skin from within – skin cells need water just like every part of your body including your brain. Without sufficient water, your skin will dehydrate and essential anti-aging nutrients cannot be delivered to your system. If you want to look younger you need to make sure water is an essential part of your anti-aging regimen.

Start one tip a day and before you know it, you are on the way to living and feeling better.

 

Women over 40 July 31, 2010

Filed under: Advises,Humor,Women — lapuce @ 8:17 am
Tags: ,

i know this was not new to everyone who must have received it a long time ago.  but i just like to repeatedly remind those out there particularly the men who say women oi know this was not over 40 are over in their life.  hey you!, we are just like you, where life begins at 40 with more dignity, more sensual, very independent and more experienced than those young 20’s.  oh yes, i couldn’t agree more when you say those 20’s in this millennium knows more about life than those 20’s in the 1970’s ….is that sex what you mean?  anyway, enjoy this article and i love every word he said about WOMEN OVER 40.

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60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.

Here are just a few reasons why:

  

  • If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

  • Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

  • Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
  • Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

  • Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
  • Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
  • You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

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Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why to buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, here’s an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! ahaks!!!!

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Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

” Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re still here we may as well dance.”